June 2nd (day before first class)
We are very excited for these classes. We have so many
questions… Like “when washing your baby, should you use the “pots and pans”
setting, and what detergent is recommended to avoid spots” and “I know they
recommend that you don’t shake your baby, but they seem to always show a
picture of a baby that has already been born? Is it ok to shake the baby when
it is still in Kali’s stomach? Because if not… well that just seems unfair… who
can I still shake in this family?”
June 3rd (Just after first class)
I was lied to. I don’t know if Kali was involved in this
deception. Shaking her is apparently definitely out for the time being, so I don’t
know how I will get to the truth… But this is not a class on what to expect
when we get closer to D-Day, this is a weekly “Movie Club” where we watch slasher
films… why did we sign up for this????
June 10th (right before second class)
Maybe the first class was a fluke. Either way, it can’t be any
worse than what we were forced to watch last week.
June 10th (During second class)
Oh…… MY……..GOD…………..
June 11th (Just after second class)
What just happened….
Why was the nurse drinking a strawberry coolatta during all
of that? Was it just to mess with us?
We will surly break soon… is that what they want? If we
scream “uncle” or puke on the floor and each other will they let us stop?
Have we already gone farther
than any other group???
June 17th (Just after third class)
Tonight we watched the opening scene from “Saving Private
Ryan”, the nurse said that it was close enough
to what we could expect in the delivery room.
I began to ask questions, to try to get relief from the
carnage.
Apparently you cannot legally swap babies with other parents
in the hospital, if you find one that you like better than yours (even if the
other parents agree that they like yours better).
I was only given the opportunity to ask one question before
the Q&A portion of the class was brought to an end…
June 18th (Morning after third class)
Half the classes are behind us…
I am so filled with fear and trepidation about what awaits
us in the three remaining sessions…
The only way that this can get worse is if we are forced to
play “think ball” with an actual fresh placenta. I just know that we are going
to walk in and there is going to be sheets of clear plastic covering the tables
and carpet…
My will is breaking…
I am going to go find something to shake…..
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